JUST USE BIRTH CONTROL: IF YOU DON'T - YOU'LL BE PREGNANT TONIGHT.

[Intelligent Party]

IF YOU DON'T USE BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT TONIGHT.

IF YOU USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 1 YEAR OR LESS.

IF YOU USE MOST FORMS OF HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 10 YEARS.

IF YOU USE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, IT'S PROBABLY A
LITTLE MORE RISKY THAN DRIVING A CAR.

IF YOU USE THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, YOU'LL PROBABLY
NEVER GET PREGNANT.

IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT, THERE IS NO BRAIN IN THE FETUS IN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS,
AND PROBABLY NO GHOST EITHER. PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF THE WOMB. THESE SAME
PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF BEING A GHOST AND THEN BEING IN THE WOMB. IF THERE IS NO
BRAIN, OR GHOST IN THE FETUS, THEN NOT ABORTING IS MAKING THE DECISION TO GET
PREGNANT. OBVIOUSLY THE DAY BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN, IT IS JUST TWO PEOPLE
ATTACHED, BUT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DETACH YOUR BODY, VS. THE ETHICAL REQUIREMENT TO
THROW SOMEONE A ROPE. CARRYING A BABY WHO EATS YOUR BODY FOR 6 MONTHS IS MORE
ONEROUS THAN THROWING SOMEONE A ROPE.

THERE ARE FOUR OPTIONS FOR BIRTH CONTROL:
CONDOMS
PULL-OUT
DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE
HORMONAL OR RHYTHM

MEN USE CONDOMS AND PULL-OUT.
WOMEN USE CONDOMS, AND DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE, AND/OR HORMONAL OR RHYTHM.

USING CONDOMS AND THE RHYTHM MEANS YOU HAVE SEX ONLY TWO WEEKS OUT OF THE MONTH
AND USE CONDOMS. AND ONLY DO ORAL FOR THE OTHER TWO WEEKS.

IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT PROBABLY RUN TO AN ABORTION CLINIC IN THE FIRST THREE
MONTHS, OTHERWISE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING THE DECISION TO GET PREGNANT WITH A REAL
PERSON.

[Colonel Edmund J. Burke]

Post by Intelligent Party
IF YOU DON'T USE BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT TONIGHT.
IF YOU USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 1 YEAR OR LESS.
IF YOU USE MOST FORMS OF HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 10 YEARS.
IF YOU USE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, IT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE MORE RISKY THAN DRIVING A CAR.
IF YOU USE THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET PREGNANT.
IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT, THERE IS NO BRAIN IN THE FETUS IN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, AND PROBABLY NO GHOST EITHER.  PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF THE WOMB.  THESE SAME PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF BEING A GHOST AND THEN BEING IN THE WOMB.  IF THERE IS NO BRAIN, OR GHOST IN THE FETUS, THEN NOT ABORTING IS MAKING THE DECISION TO GET PREGNANT.  OBVIOUSLY THE DAY BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN, IT IS JUST TWO PEOPLE ATTACHED, BUT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DETACH YOUR BODY, VS. THE ETHICAL REQUIREMENT TO THROW SOMEONE A ROPE.  CARRYING A BABY WHO EATS YOUR BODY FOR 6 MONTHS IS MORE ONEROUS THAN THROWING SOMEONE A ROPE.
CONDOMS
PULL-OUT
DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE
HORMONAL OR RHYTHM
MEN USE CONDOMS AND PULL-OUT.
WOMEN USE CONDOMS, AND DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE, AND/OR HORMONAL OR RHYTHM.
USING CONDOMS AND THE RHYTHM MEANS YOU HAVE SEX ONLY TWO WEEKS OUT OF THE MONTH AND USE CONDOMS.  AND ONLY DO ORAL FOR THE OTHER TWO WEEKS.
IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT PROBABLY RUN TO AN ABORTION CLINIC IN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, OTHERWISE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING THE DECISION TO GET PREGNANT WITH A REAL PERSON.

...

What about getting fucked in the ass by your pit bull?
Does that count?

[Colonel Edmund J. Burke]

Post by Intelligent Party
IF YOU DON'T USE BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT TONIGHT.
IF YOU USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 1 YEAR OR LESS.
IF YOU USE MOST FORMS OF HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL, YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN 10 YEARS.
IF YOU USE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, IT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE MORE RISKY THAN DRIVING A CAR.
IF YOU USE THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL CONCURRENTLY, YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET PREGNANT.
IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT, THERE IS NO BRAIN IN THE FETUS IN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, AND PROBABLY NO GHOST EITHER.  PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF THE WOMB.  THESE SAME PEOPLE HAVE MEMORIES OF BEING A GHOST AND THEN BEING IN THE WOMB.  IF THERE IS NO BRAIN, OR GHOST IN THE FETUS, THEN NOT ABORTING IS MAKING THE DECISION TO GET PREGNANT.  OBVIOUSLY THE DAY BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN, IT IS JUST TWO PEOPLE ATTACHED, BUT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DETACH YOUR BODY, VS. THE ETHICAL REQUIREMENT TO THROW SOMEONE A ROPE.  CARRYING A BABY WHO EATS YOUR BODY FOR 6 MONTHS IS MORE ONEROUS THAN THROWING SOMEONE A ROPE.
CONDOMS
PULL-OUT
DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE
HORMONAL OR RHYTHM
MEN USE CONDOMS AND PULL-OUT.
WOMEN USE CONDOMS, AND DIAPHRAGM OR SPONGE, AND/OR HORMONAL OR RHYTHM.
USING CONDOMS AND THE RHYTHM MEANS YOU HAVE SEX ONLY TWO WEEKS OUT OF THE MONTH AND USE CONDOMS.  AND ONLY DO ORAL FOR THE OTHER TWO WEEKS (including Blumpkins).
IF YOU DO GET PREGNANT PROBABLY RUN TO AN ABORTION CLINIC IN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, OTHERWISE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING THE DECISION TO GET PREGNANT.

"The more you know..."